In 2021, I discovered a tumor growing on the right side of my head. It was cancerous. I had a young family, another baby on the way, and it was probably the hardest news I've ever had to deal with in my life.
Thankfully, that was three years ago now, and it taught me a lesson, well so many really, but one of them was about not being afraid to let my guard down.
Showing vulnerability is not a weakness
One of the things I've always found really hard is showing vulnerability to my athletes. I thought that as a role model I needed to covey strength, confidence and dedication - like a coaching Batman. But with my cancer diagnosis came the realisation that life is short, challenging and unpredictable. It also made me vulnerable.
For the first time my athletes saw a side of me that wasn’t Batman and instead of turning away, they started sharing their challenges and their vulnerabilities with me. This in turn opened my eyes to what each of them was going through. It made me realise how strong some of them were and it made me feel stronger to share my challenges with them.
Create a deeper connection
Letting my guard down and allowing myself to be vulnerable in front of them also allowed them to be vulnerable in front of me. It made them more comfortable, so they could express their feelings, cry, laugh and just be human. And by doing that I found it created a deeper connection between me and the athletes I coach.
Elite sport is hard, there are many tense moments, loads of difficult conversations and low times. It’s brutal. But a strong connection between a coach and athlete can make these things a little easier. Knowing someone better allows you to make better decisions to get the most out of them. It makes them easier to coach and lead. It also makes it easier to understand some of their behaviours and motivations. But people won’t drop their guards if you aren’t prepared to drop yours as well.
Coaching for me now is much more than skills and drills. It’s about connection and care and allowing myself to show who I really am. It’s probably the biggest lesson I've learned, and it's been the most professionally and personally rewarding in my coaching career.
Showing vulnerability has been the biggest change in the past few years and the biggest turning point in my coaching career. And so, I encourage you to let your guard down. Allow your athletes into your world, so they will feel more comfortable allowing you into theirs. The benefits for both of you are worth it.
Regards,
Marc Sophoulis